64. You Were Never Too Much - Venesa V Vaughn aka VESNA - Real Life with Bel | Podcast on Spotify

In this powerful and deeply honest episode, I sit down with Venesa V Vaughan - also known as Vesna from Big Brother 2005 and now the founder of The Brain Boss.

Venesa shares her story of growing up in the shadow of her Macedonian parents, in a home marked by dysfunction, violence, and the belief that she was simply “too much.” That message shaped her identity for years - until she chose to challenge it.

We talk about her time in the Big Brother house, the surprising moment I realised who she was, and the very real-life experience that followed - including a night locked in a Bali prison.

But this conversation goes far deeper than the headlines.

Venesa is no-BS. She brings raw honesty backed by neuroscience, breaking down how trauma wires the nervous system, how people-pleasing is created, and why so many of us repeat patterns we don’t even understand.

Now, through her work at The Brain Boss, she helps parents regulate themselves first - so they can raise emotionally safe, resilient children and stop passing trauma down the line.

✨ In this episode, we cover:

• Growing up feeling “too much” and how that shapes identity

• Life inside Big Brother 2005

• The shocking Bali prison experience

• How trauma impacts the brain and nervous system

• Why people-pleasers are created (and how to break the cycle)

• Practical ways parents can regulate and show up differently

This is a conversation about truth, accountability, and rewriting the story you were given.

If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink yourself to be loved - this one will hit home